Friday, October 21, 2011

Comparative Translation


These are the three texts that I analyzed side by side (feel free to skip over them to the explanation afterward if you wish), of one of my favorite speeches by King Richard II, exhibiting the emotional, depressing experience of losing it all:

Original:

"What must the king do now? Must
he submit?
The king shall do it: must he be deposed?
The king shall be contented: must he lose
The name of king? o’ God’s name, let it go:
I’ll give my jewels for a set of beads,
My gorgeous palace for a hermitage,
My gay apparel for an almsman’s gown,
My figured goblets for a dish of wood,
My sceptre for a palmer’s walking staff,
My subjects for a pair of carved saints
And my large kingdom for a little grave,
A little little grave, an obscure grave;
Or I’ll be buried in the king’s highway,
Some way of common trade, where subjects’ feet
May hourly trample on their sovereign’s head;
For on my heart they tread now whilst I live;
And buried once, why not upon my head?
Aumerle, thou weep’st, my tender-hearted cousin!
We’ll make foul weather with despised tears;
Our sighs and they shall lodge the summer corn,
And make a dearth in this revolting land.
Or shall we play the wantons with our woes,
And make some pretty match with shedding tears?
As thus, to drop them still upon one place,
Till they have fretted us a pair of graves
Within the earth; and, therein laid,—there lies
Two kinsmen digg’d their graves with weeping eyes.
Would not this ill do well? Well, well, I see
I talk but idly, and you laugh at me.
Most mighty prince, my Lord Northumberland,
What says King Bolingbroke? will his majesty
Give Richard leave to live till Richard die?
You make a leg, and Bolingbroke says ay."


Traducción en Verso por Santiago Sevilla


¿Debe el rey ahora someterse?
¿De hacerlo, vanle a deponer?
¿Si ha de aceptarlo, de rey, el nombre
Perderá? ¡Por Dios, lo he de perder!
A cambio de mis joyas, un rosario;
Por mi bello palacio, una ermita;
Por mi túnica dorada, jubón
De mendicante, y por mi cáliz de oro,
Cuenco de madera he de trocar;
Mi cetro, por bordón de peregrino,
Mis siervos, por imágenes talladas,
Mi inmenso reino, por sepultura,
Oscura, o tumba en camino real,
Alguna frecuentada vía,
Donde la gente pise mi frente,
Cual hoy, mi corazón doliente,
A su ida y vuelta, cada día.
Aumerle, lloras, tierno primo.
Con borrasca de lágrimas te oprimo.
La mies caerá ante mis suspiros,
Y eriales haránse los barbechos.
Excaven tumbas nuestras lágrimas
Y veamos, entre dos, quien gana,
Y con ello, conquistemos fama,
Enterrados en la luenga cava,
De ser llorones consumados.
Mas ya veo que digo tontería,
Y merezco que de mi se ría.
Poderoso príncipe Northumberland,
¿Qué manda a decir rey Bolingbroke?
¿Permíteme vivir, hasta que muera?
¿Ordénate Bolingbroke, que digas, sí?

Traduccion de Luis Astrana Marín
Traducida del ingles, 1923  

¿Qué debe hacer el rey ahora? ¿Debe someterse? Lo hará. ¿Debe ser destronado? Quedará satisfecho. ¿Debo perder el nombre de rey? En nombre de Dios, que lo pierda. Daré mis joyas por un rosario, cambiare mi palacio suntuoso por una ermita, mis ricas vestiduras por el traje de un mendigo, mis cubiletes cincelados por un par de santos esculpidos y mi gran reino por una modesta tumba, una más que modesta, modestísima tumba, una oscura tumba; o seré enterrado en el camino real, en una ruta de común tránsito, para que los pies de mis súbditos puedan a todas horas marchar sobre la cabeza de su soberano. Porque bien pisotean mi corazón ahora que vivo, y una vez enterrado, ¿Por qué no han de hacerlo sobre mi cabeza? ¡Lloras, Aumerle, primo de mi corazón! Engendraremos malos tiempos con nuestras lágrimas menospreciadas. Ellas y nuestros suspiros abatirán las mieses estivales y traerán el hambre a este país sublevado. ¿O debemos hacernos los locos con nuestros infortunios y convertir nuestras lágrimas en tema de alguna inda apuesta, por ejemple, dejándolas correr siempre en el mismo sitio, hasta que nos hayan cavado un par de tumbas en la tierra y allí se suscriba: “Aquí yacen dos parientes que cavaron sus tumbas con lágrimas de sus ojos”? Es que este mal no estaría así bien. Bien, bien, ya veo que no digo más que necedades y que os burláis de mí. Milord Northumberland, muy poderoso príncipe, ¿Qué dice el rey Bolingbroke? ¿Su Majestad se digna autorizar a Ricardo a vivir hasta que Ricardo muera? ¿No tenéis que hacer más que una reverencia, y Bolingbroke dirá que sí.



As seen above, the first translation, by Santiago Sevilla, was done in verse. I love the way this one sounds, and it captures almost to a tea the kind of language that Shakespeare used. As one example, Shakespeare employs 9-11 syllables in each line, as done the Spanish translation. The entirety is written iambically (with a few exceptions, both in English and in Spanish). It has a Shakesperian feel to it with the language. Semantically, though... I think it is quite deficient. A few things that are entirely left out, that I think are important are the short phrases:

"What must the king do now?"

"The king shall do it.... [&] The king shall be contented."

"Where subjects’ feet... [&]
May hourly trample on their sovereign’s head


As in the last example, the idea of his subjects overthrowing him is not mentioned. This to me is significant because it is an extra sign if humiliation, which this speech is trying to capture.

Also, in the first examples, some of what seems to me like sarcasm is omitted. Saying that he shall do it cannot be taken at face value if we also look at the quotes where he is blown up emotionally when he thinks about losing it all. And so, we need these few lines to show the bitterness he feels. 

These are just a few examples.

In contrast, the second translation, by Luis Astrana Marín, is very accurate semantically while omitting the elements of verse and iamb. Still, I love the accuracy of meaning here. Take a look at the difference even spatially:

Till they have fretted us a pair of graves
Within the earth; and, therein laid,—there lies
Two kinsmen digg’d their graves with weeping eyes.
Would not this ill do well?

2nd: (literal)
hasta que nos hayan cavado un par de tumbas
en la tierra y allí se suscriba: “Aquí yacen dos parientes 
que cavaron sus tumbas con lágrimas de sus ojos”? 
Es que este mal no estaría así bien.

1st (verse)
Y con ello, conquistemos fama,
Enterrados en la luenga cava,
De ser llorones consumados.

And so, my hypothesis is that you cannot translate accommodating to both the true, full meaning and also the poetry. In this way, it is hard for me to believe that an exemplary translation of Shakespeare's Richard II can be done. Both elements are essential. I imagine that for readers of Shakespeare in Spanish they will just have to take their pick.

3 comentarios:

acorkin said...

this is awesome!
Me Gusta mucho.

Translational stuff is so layered. Im' in a New Testament class, and the difference between versions of the bible is so notable! the King James Version is sort of more lyrical than the others. I wonder if people prefer the plainer, less wordy version for clarity's sake...? Which do you prefer reading: spanish or english?

Erik said...

Te gusta!!!!

I think I really like reading it in English, just because I understand it so much better, and I don't have to look up as many words. I do have to say, though, that seeing which versions of Spanish are the best has been a fun experience!

Sam Wells said...

Very well argued and the example is such great literature. I have to align myself with the Spanish poetry, but that's probably because I love Shakespeare and even a good copy makes me happy.